Oh My Love, lyric

There’s a heartbreak in me

I think it got its name

When I went down in a heap of rubble

And floated up in flame

 

There’s a sadness in my heart

And it’s crying out for you

But I don’t think I could even deal

If you came back to the truth

 

Oh my love

 

I am sitting at the bar

Where we always used to go

I am laughing at the things we talked about

that no one knows

 

I am lying in my bed

And I feel like I should cry

I am watching memories dance

Across a movie screen of sky

 

    In another time you would realize

    In another time you would stay

 

Oh my love

 

By Susan A. Carson

 

Beautiful, a lyrical poem

Beautiful

I could’ve been a pro ball player
England’s Queen’s got nothing on me
I could’ve been an astronaut
Fly you and me to Mercury

I saw the way you introduced me
Don’t worry baby, they don’t know
They can’t see the way I make you sing
Baby, they don’t know

So, what if I’m not
What if I’m not
What if I’m not BEAUTIFUL?

I could’ve been the top of my class
I could’ve won their Nobel prize
Maybe I could shine for Mommy and Daddy
Just tell ‘em it’s the look in my eyes

So, what if I’m not
What if I’m not
What if I’m not BEAUTIFUL?
Beautiful

Stop making excuses for me
I don’t need you to make it “okay”
I could’ve been everything for you
But I’m just here!

What if I become Miss America?
What if I become Kingdom Come?
What if nothing else really matters, baby?
What if no one else ever comes along?

What if I was your Holy Moses?
Lead you right into Heaven’s gates?
What if I could make you feel so good that
Baby, nothing else could ever make it go away?

So, what if I’m not
What if I’m not
What if I’m not BEAUTIFUL?

© Susan A. Carson. All rights Reserved.

Words

Hi, friends. I’ve decided to start sharing some of my writings on my blog. I will be posting my lyrics, poetry, prose, haiku, etc., here for you to enjoy. I may even occasionally share an excerpt from a book I am working on. Feel free to subscribe or unsubscribe. I try to not take it all too personally and I am not seeking “Likes”. I will continue to share my art and music as usual, just adding my words to the mix. It’s all connected. Like us. And why do I feel the need to tell you this? Because by putting it out there, I am holding myself accountable. Sorry, this is how I do things.

Are you a creative person? Do you write, craft, sing, play an instrument, draw? People who do one of these things usually do many of these things. Some people are so creative that they can’t even sit or stand somewhere without doodling, singing, rapping or something. I am not one of these people to whom it comes easily. It is something I work at constantly although I am always thinking of things I want to create. It just takes discipline for me to execute. I make time each day for music and art, but writing has always been an afterthought until recently. For the past few year, I have been writing daily. It started out as basic journaling, but has developed into a nice routine of challenges. I’ve outlined some book ideas, worked out some lyrics for songs, and developed an entertaining haiku practice.

I would like to share some of this here on my blog page. Some new, some old. But for me, it is all “current” because it is all still a part of me. And I’m still alive.

Book Cover Art

New book release! I am excited today to see my art on the cover of a book that is for sale on Amazon! Sean Currie released his new novel today and I am so proud to be a part of this project. I was flattered when he wrote last year to ask if I would create a painting to be used for the cover on his crime novel. He gave me a description of what he was looking for: a specific British Railways train, on the tracks, at night, moody, fast. Next I did some research googling different angles of this train in different locales, and trying to understand some of the parts of the train so I knew what I was painting. Over a couple of weeks, I would go to the studio armed with my photo references and my Google-machine information. I threw on some good music and jammed it out. What a lot of fun it was to do, and Sean was a pleasure to work with. I am looking forward to owning and reading this book in the hardback form. This interesting man can tell a story! Link to the book here

A Visit in the Artist Studio

Normally once or twice a year we welcome the public into our gallery and studio at the Loft Artists Association in Stamford, CT to visit with the artists and check out the studios. This year, due to COVID restrictions, we did not hold this event. So I made a little video here. It’s about 3 minutes or so of me chatting to my camera (an odd experience) and showing some of my art. I wanted to add music but just couldn’t figure it out. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. https://youtu.be/rG46T7pSjVA

Inspiration

I’ve been so busy at work (the day job) the past month that I haven’t been spending the time in my studio that I would like. When life gets in the way like this, with work, appointments, social events, chores and such, it can weigh on a creative person, leaving a dead-inside kind of feeling. I feel best when I’m in the studio pushing colors around, planning a composition, crafting just the perfect angle or texture in a drawing. For me, it is akin to yoga or meditation.

So, time to “stock the pond.” I took some time this week to head into Manhattan with a friend to visit the Museum of Modern Art. What a day! We spent the day bathing in color, light, ideas. Figures, shapes, and commentary draped us in joy and inspiration. The MoMA is such a wonderful place to get away from the grind and soak in some energy. (Socially distanced, of course!)

After communing with all my faves: Picasso, Matisse, Krasner, Hartigan, Pollock, de Kooning, Dali, Magritte, Hockney, Kahlo, O’Keefe…and so many more, I can’t wait to get into my studio today and get to work!

In her book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron recommends the practice of taking yourself out on “artist dates”, a time to go explore for ideas and enjoy the creativity of others. It opens your mind to new thoughts and ways of looking at things. It nurtures your creative consciousness. The book recommends you do this alone- no friends, spouse, children tagging along. I agree with this in theory, but for me, it was great to find a friend that could come along and just be there, mostly quiet, occasionally pointing out something I may not have noticed and to share the enjoyment. We did both separate now and then to get some space and wander alone. Either way, it was a great experience. I highly recommend it!

Artist Interview

Well Hello there! I’d like to share with you a video of an interview I did for Frank Tosto of Stamford Musicians Group (a Facebook Group.) He runs a regular streaming video show featuring musical guests and other creatives from the community performing, chatting and sharing their latest projects. If you don’t know Frank you should go to Facebook, search and join his Stamford Musicians Group, and enjoy. He is one of the hardest working, supportive (and talented and nicest) guys in the area. Anyway, here is the spot he did with me. https://youtu.be/3ohN8D9ehF4

Happy New Year

New Year New Artists! This is the name of the New Member Art Exhibition in which I am participating as a new member of the Loft Artists Association located in Stamford, CT. I was recently juried into this association of artists, which is a huge deal for me since I have sort of been ‘stalking’ this organization since I moved to Connecticut in 2003. For years, I have attended every Open Studios or exhibition they have held and finally decided to submit my own portfolio to the jury to see if they would accept me.

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or Instagram have watched and commented over the years as my art has evolved and developed. I appreciate that very much. Some of you have even been the subject of some of my paintings and sketches and some have purchased art from me. Thank you for the support!

In addition to joining the Loft Artists Association, I have recently moved into an onsite studio in the building at 575 Pacific Street, Stamford, CT. It is 200 square feet of JOY! It is a place of my own to create, collaborate with other artists, learn and make a huge mess. I will be working in this studio throughout 2020 and hope to share this journey with you.

This past weekend I got to go in and help set up my first art exhibition. I have a lot to learn, but I am very enthusiastic, and I am so impressed by and appreciative of all the help I am receiving from the other LAA members.

New Year New Artists will run at the Loft Artists Association from January 4 – February 2, 2020 with the OPENING RECEPTION on Saturday, January 11 from 5-7pm.

I invite you to join me at the reception for new art, refreshments, socializing and music by Grammy-nominated recording artist Sundad. I also invite you to head over to my home page where you can subscribe to my newsletter/mailing list to be in-the-know on events and happenings in my CarsonArtMusic world, whether art or music.

Feeling Good

Suffering from a little cold, so no open mic for me tonight. I really wanted to go play a few songs, but I just don’t feel good. So…Instead, I’m sharing this piece “Keeping Time”. 16×20” acrylic on canvas. It is available!

This one is inspired from jamming with a friend who finds his zen moment in a jam after a long day, losing himself in the rhythm and feeling good. I love him for that. He has an intense, serious career and he must focus on it all day. Then he comes home and showers his family with love and attention. But he finds time for his jam. Because it’s awesome!

Music is good for you. Hopefully listening to a little music tonight while I sketch will get me feeling good soon!

Stop Waiting

As 2018 draws to a close, like many people, I am reviewing the past year and thinking of what I want to accomplish in the New Year. I don’t really call them “resolutions” but I do set goals and this is a good time to review and tweak them.

For 2019, I resolve to STOP WAITING. “Waiting” is different than procrastination.  I think procrastination is not doing something either because you don’t want to, or you don’t feel like it yet. Waiting, on the other hand, is like not taking responsibility for your inertia. It is “I can’t do x yet because someone else hasn’t done y“, where y is something you think is outside your control. It’s a victim stance. I do this a lot and I hate it. Examples:

  • I can’t sell my art because my programmer hasn’t built my online shop yet.
  • I can’t post pictures of my artwork on my website because my friend hasn’t come over to take good photos yet.
  • I can’t write a blog post because I’m waiting for my website to be redesigned.
  • I can’t put together an art show because I’m waiting for someone else to do it.
  • I can’t book a gig because my band mates haven’t given me their schedules yet.
  • I can’t exercise because my workout partner is busy today.

All of these are examples of playing the victim by “waiting” until someone else does their part so you can go on with your life. I do not know why, but I do this. And I recognize it.

In addition, I will stop “waiting” until the time is right.  You know, “waiting” until I finally have the perfect thing to write about or the perfect finished artwork to share.  The perfect thing and the perfect time is This and Now.  So, for now, I will post a painting I am still working on in my studio. It isn’t perfect and it isn’t finished. I plan to finish it this week and get it ready to show in February.  It will be for sale then.

Truth is a function of time.  I think Einstein said that.  I digress.  But think about that.

Anyway, Here’s to 2019 being a year of DOING, not waiting. Let’s live our truth in 2019.

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